We wish you Happy Holidays. Enjoy. Give thanks. Cherish the ones you love. 2014 is right around the corner. Lets exhale the past and inhale our future.
Funny Missing Cat PosterFound this email the other day from 2010. Got a good laugh. Those of you in the graphic design industry will find this extra humorous because you have come across this situation before. We have dealt with this amongst programmers numerous times on lower levels of incompetence. We have learned it’s just better to supply a copy of exactly what you want and even then they will still get it wrong. There is no winning.
Shannon wrote her designer friend an email and the correspondence transpired as below.
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.
This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street.
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?” Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Attached poster as requested.
yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.
yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn’t have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.
I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill. I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Please just use the photo I gave you.
I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
Fine. That will have to do.
You need this. You just didn’t know.
Guess what? Some of you actually need this and didn’t know it. You know who you are. You got caught one day by your children, or the maid, or a friend, or even worse one of your parents. Inhaling the room. The jig was up. How do you even explain the sexual devices found in your draw? You can’t. What’s done is done and there’s no turning back.
There is a solution to the shoe boxes, socks, walmart bags, medicine cabinets, pillows, couches, and wherever else you might be hiding your pleasuring items. Introducing a lacquered coated storage box, for your intimate devices, called the MUA Box. Picture a 2 level matryoshka doll concept, that’s waterproof, has multiple sections, is portable, contains a charging station, and lastly but most importantly, has a lock for security.
Now take a moment to think about existing products you can purchase that live up to what the MUA Box offers. We’re waiting for your answer. Playing jeopardy music. AAAND we’re back. So it conceals, it’s discreet, it’s what you need whether you admit or not. Back the Box and receive yours ASAP. Only 4days left.
Click on MUA Pleasure Products Organizer for more info.
Man rejected by Indiana Blood Center1. Every two seconds someone in the U.S. needs blood.
More than 41,000 blood donations are needed every day.
2. A total of 30 million blood components are transfused each year in the U.S.
3. The average red blood cell transfusion is approximately 3 pints.
4. The blood type most often requested by hospitals is Type O.
5. The blood used in an emergency is already on the shelves before the event occurs.
6. Sickle cell disease affects more than 70,000 people in the U.S. About 1,000 babies are born with the disease each year.
7. Sickle cell patients can require frequent blood transfusions throughout their lives.
More than 1.6 million people were diagnosed with cancer last year. Many of them will need blood, sometimes daily, during their chemotherapy treatment.
8. A single car accident victim can require as many as 100 pints of blood.
9. Although an estimated 38% of the U.S. population is eligible to donate, less than 10% actually do each year.
10. Blood cannot be manufactured – it can only come from generous donors.
11. Type O-negative blood (red cells) can be transfused to patients of all blood types. It is always in great demand and often in short supply.
12. Type AB-positive plasma can be transfused to patients of all other blood types. AB plasma is also usually in short supply.
AAAAAND just last week a perfectly willing candidate approached an Indiana Blood Center mobile facility in Terre Haute at 2021 S. Third St., and was DENIED the unselfish act of donating his blood due to the fact that he is GAY. Why is this still controversy? How does who he sleeps with determine whether his blood is good enough? How does who he cares for and love determine whether someone lives or dies? Are people so naive or clueless to thing heterosexual people are “cleaner” than gays? Let me tell you the stories i have heard about straight far surpasses anything some gays do.
Ohhhh Indiana when I thought you couldn’t be anymore red. Here you continue to go. Yes the entire state for the simply fact that discrimination is placed on a general podium 247. Just stop the ludicrosity (yes my word). People need to think of others as just the bare fundamental HUMAN BEINGS. That is it. One needs help. One helps. Done. How hard is that? It’s the world we live in some will say. NO you do not have to live in this state. Fix it. Stop being content with satisfactory. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Karma where are you? Indiana Blood Center needs to be taken for a lil walk down a dark alley.
Mandela. Moment of silence.
He fought till the very end. A great man. A great soul. A great human. Mandela rest in peace.